Conversion therapy, also known as reparative therapy, refers to practices aimed at changing an individual’s sexual orientation or gender identity. For many people, undergoing conversion therapy can be a harrowing and damaging experience that leaves emotional scars long after the process ends. Conversion therapy survivors face a unique and often painful journey as they work through the trauma caused by these harmful practices. In this article, we will explore the experiences of conversion therapy survivors, the emotional and psychological effects they endure, and how therapy can aid in their healing process.
What is Conversion Therapy?
Conversion therapy involves a range of techniques intended to change a person’s sexual orientation or gender identity. It has been widely discredited by mental health professionals and condemned by numerous medical and psychological organizations, including the American Psychological Association and the American Medical Association. These therapies often involve practices such as:
- Aversion techniques: Using painful stimuli or unpleasant images to associate discomfort with same-sex attraction or gender identity.
- Talk therapy: Focusing on changing beliefs and attitudes about one’s sexual orientation or gender identity.
- Religious interventions: Some conversion therapy practices are rooted in religious beliefs, attempting to “pray the gay away” or convince individuals that their sexual identity is sinful.
Despite being widely criticized for its harmful effects, conversion therapy continues to be practiced in certain parts of the world, causing immense harm to those subjected to it.
The Impact of Conversion Therapy on Survivors
The psychological and emotional effects of conversion therapy are profound and long-lasting. Conversion therapy survivors often experience significant trauma that can affect their mental health, relationships, and self-identity. Some of the most common effects include:
1. Loss of Self-Worth
One of the most devastating outcomes of conversion therapy is the loss of self-worth and self-acceptance. Many individuals subjected to conversion therapy are told that they are inherently flawed or sinful because of their sexual orientation or gender identity. This can lead to deep feelings of shame, guilt, and inadequacy. Survivors may struggle to accept who they are, feeling that their very identity is something to be ashamed of or changed.
2. Depression and Anxiety
Conversion therapy survivors often face long-term mental health challenges, including depression and anxiety. The trauma of being told that their sexual identity is wrong or that they need to change can lead to feelings of isolation, sadness, and hopelessness. Many survivors report struggling with feelings of worthlessness and despair even after leaving conversion therapy.
3. Internalized Homophobia or Transphobia
As a result of conversion therapy, individuals may internalize negative societal attitudes towards their sexual orientation or gender identity. This internalized homophobia or transphobia can create a self-loathing that persists long after the therapy ends. Survivors may feel uncomfortable or even hostile towards their own identity, making it difficult to accept themselves and engage with others in a healthy way.
4. Difficulty Forming Healthy Relationships
Survivors of conversion therapy often struggle to form meaningful and healthy relationships, particularly romantic ones. The internalized shame and fear of their sexual identity can create barriers to intimacy and trust. Survivors may find it difficult to connect with others or may fear rejection, leading to feelings of loneliness and isolation.
5. Trust Issues
Conversion therapy often involves manipulation, coercion, and psychological abuse. As a result, survivors may develop significant trust issues, not only with those who subjected them to therapy but also with others in their lives. The trauma of being forced to change something as fundamental as their identity can erode their ability to trust others, particularly authority figures or therapists.
The Road to Recovery: Healing for Conversion Therapy Survivors
Healing from the trauma caused by conversion therapy is a deeply personal and often challenging journey. However, recovery is possible with the right support and resources. Conversion therapy survivors can take steps toward healing by seeking therapy, building supportive communities, and engaging in self-care. Here’s how therapy can help:
1. Creating a Safe and Supportive Environment
The first step in healing is finding a therapist who can provide a safe, non-judgmental space for survivors to explore their feelings and experiences. A therapist who specializes in trauma recovery or LGBTQ+ issues will understand the unique struggles that conversion therapy survivors face. They can offer a compassionate, supportive environment where survivors can begin to process their trauma and rebuild their self-worth.
2. Processing Shame and Guilt
One of the most significant barriers to healing for conversion therapy survivors is the overwhelming sense of shame and guilt that often accompanies their experiences. Therapy can help survivors confront these feelings, work through the emotional pain, and replace self-loathing with self-acceptance. By challenging harmful beliefs about their identity, survivors can begin to heal from the emotional wounds caused by conversion therapy.
3. Rebuilding a Healthy Sense of Self
A critical aspect of recovery is rebuilding a positive sense of self and embracing one’s true identity. Survivors of conversion therapy often struggle with accepting who they are because of the shame and guilt imposed by the therapy. Through therapy, survivors can learn to embrace their sexual orientation or gender identity and develop a healthy, authentic sense of self.
4. Addressing Trauma and PTSD
Many conversion therapy survivors suffer from symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), including flashbacks, nightmares, and emotional numbness. Therapy that is specifically tailored to trauma recovery, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) or eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR), can help survivors address these symptoms and heal from the trauma of conversion therapy.
5. Building Healthy Relationships
A significant part of the healing process for conversion therapy survivors is learning to trust again and forming healthy, meaningful relationships. Therapy can help survivors develop healthier communication skills, set boundaries, and overcome fears of rejection or abandonment. Building a supportive network of friends, family, and allies is crucial for long-term healing.
6. Empowering Survivors to Advocate for Themselves
Another important aspect of healing is empowering survivors to advocate for themselves and others. Many conversion therapy survivors find strength in speaking out against the harmful practices of conversion therapy. By sharing their stories, survivors can help raise awareness, challenge stigma, and contribute to social change.
Finding the Right Therapist for Conversion Therapy Survivors
For conversion therapy survivors, finding the right therapist is crucial to the healing process. Here are a few tips for finding a therapist who is equipped to provide the support and care that survivors need:
1. Seek a Trauma-Informed Therapist
It’s important to find a therapist who understands trauma and its effects on the brain and emotions. A trauma-informed therapist will approach healing with empathy, sensitivity, and an understanding of the unique challenges that conversion therapy survivors face.
2. Look for LGBTQ+ Affirmative Therapy
Therapists who are affirming of LGBTQ+ identities provide an inclusive environment that respects and celebrates sexual orientation and gender identity. These therapists will be knowledgeable about the specific challenges faced by LGBTQ+ individuals, including the impact of conversion therapy.
3. Consider Specialized Therapists for Religious or Spiritual Trauma
For survivors of conversion therapy that was rooted in religious beliefs, it may be helpful to seek out a therapist with expertise in religious or spiritual trauma. These therapists can help survivors navigate the intersection of their religious beliefs and sexual identity, addressing feelings of guilt, shame, or conflict.
4. Trust Your Intuition
When choosing a therapist, it’s essential to trust your intuition. Healing is a deeply personal process, and you should feel comfortable and understood by your therapist. If something doesn’t feel right, don’t hesitate to seek a therapist who feels like a better fit for your needs.
Conclusion
Being a conversion therapy survivor is a deeply challenging experience, but recovery is possible. With the right support, therapy, and resources, survivors can heal from the emotional and psychological wounds caused by conversion therapy. If you or someone you know has experienced the trauma of conversion therapy, it’s never too late to seek help and begin the healing journey.
For more information and to find compassionate, trauma-informed therapy David A. Matheson. You are not alone in your journey to healing.
